I have some exciting news!!!!

Hi I'm back I know in may I had all good intentions of being back sooner and posting more to my blog but truthfully my motivation for this blog had hit rock bottom and I was doubting myself and was saying things like what's the point in writing them know ones going to read them but ive come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if no one really reads them because that's not why I started this blog in the first place it was so I could have a creative outlet for myself and enjoy writing again and so that's what I intend to do and if someone does read it than that's great hi if that persons you I really appreciate you taking the time to read my blog it means a lot.

ok now I've finished my long ramble I have news I'm currently working with the princes trust on their enterprise programme as I really want to open a queer inclusive coffee shop its been a dream of mine for quit along time but I was always to scared to peruse it but I'm hoping with the help of the princes trust and some really hard work I can turn my dream into a reality and really want to document the whole process I've been working with the princes trust for a few months now and I'm currently working on my business plan I've certainly had moments where I've been doubting myself and my abilities but with the help of my business mentor I've felt more able to push on as its nice having the support of someone else and to have someone else believe in and say you can do it .Well I think I'm going to leave it here for today and promise this time I will be back sooner you can hold me to it this time I cant wait to see what happens in this next exciting chapter that I'm going on the ups and downs lets do this.speak soon

IM Back!!

Wow its been a while hasn't it, I could start telling you how I've been really busy and haven't had any time to think about writing on my blog, but the trust is I just didn't have the motivation and I didn't know what to talk about, and that if I did I just wouldn't have anything interesting to say. I finally decided that it doesn't matter and that I'm writing these blog posts as much for me as it is for other people, and its a way for me to vent what's on my mind and to be creative. 

 I'm really looking forward to getting back into uploading more regularly but I'm not going to put any pressure on myself like the last time, if I feel like uploading a post than I will but if not I wont be hard on myself and put myself down just because I haven't stuck to my goal of frequently uploading. I find motivation can be difficult and its defiantly something that I really struggle with especially as I volunteer from home and find that the only person I have to tell me to get my work done is myself and trust me I'm not a very strict boss at all ha yah sure molly take the  morning off and start your work in the afternoon if you want and don't worry about the fact that you haven't done much work this week, I'm sure you will get it done I trust you I think you get the drift I'm just not very good at pushing myself to get things done and I than spent that time feeling frustrated with myself that I haven't achieved what I set out to or wasted the day instead of getting the work done its defiantly something that I want to get better at though and make small steps to change .

I know that its not something that I can change overnight, and I need to have a better routine and try to stick to it ha wish me luck with that one but seriously to anyone reading this who also might be struggling with motivation just know that its a process and that its not a race it takes time sometimes to get into a routine and maintain it something that I defiantly know all to well and have really struggled with over the last few months especially,but I know with time I will get there and slowly I will learn  to stick to a routine for longer  (I'm defiantly hopeful ha ha).

 I hope you've enjoyed my all over the place ramblings it really does feel good to be back I promise this time I will back sooner and for anyone else who's struggling with the ups and downs of motivation try not to be to hard on yourself I'm sure your doing the best you can  speak soon .

My coming out story

Hi everyone I'm back I know it's been a while since I posted on here and I really have no excuses time just got away from me oops will try and not let that happen again as you would of already read by the title today I'm going to be talking about my coming out story I can still hardly believe I'm actually going to but here goes.

It all started in secondary school I always felt abit left out when I came to relationships while alot of my friends were talking about cute boys and there crushes I was thinking to myself why don't I feel the same way why don't I have crushes on boys or find them attractive and want a boyfriend and I just thought that it just wasn't something that I was interested in and that maybe when I'm older I will suddenly want a boyfriend and want to date.

 That all changed when I started to find one of my female teachers attractive at the time I thought I like her because she's kind and funny ow and she has nice eyes I'm thinking that should of been a clue why am I feeling this way I thought surely I shouldn't be feeling like this but I did and those feelings didn't go away I remember watching a TV programme and being attracted to one of the female characters ok maybe this means something I thought maybe I find girls attractive aswell as boys ok that's fine but as time went by I knew that wasn't the case I had never experienced those feelings when it came to boys only girls so for afew years I kept it to myself and didn't tell anyone hoping it would just sort itself out little did I know that actually talking about these things can often be better than keeping things bottled up inside and eventually as time went on I knew that I couldn't keep this part of me hidden forever I wanted to be honest with my family and tell them the truth and I did I told afew of my close family some by text because truthfully I didn't know how to

really say something like that over the phone so I thought texting would be easier and they honestly couldn't of been more supportive and loving and I'm so grateful for that and I told my mom quit casually really it wasn't at all what I had built up in my head she said that she loved me and supported me and it felt like a massive weight had been lifted I didn't have to hide who I was anymore and that felt amazing and than I told my brother and he is so important in my coming out story because he showed me that it was ok to be me and to be truly myself and I honestly don't think I would of come out when I did if it wasn't for him he was a great support for me and role model thanks jack! ! And that friends is my coming out story one thing I would like to say before I go is being able to live your true self is incredible and there's truly no better feeling and I know who I am and that's gay and that's ok being able to now live my true self well that's amazing  until next time friends bye.

My anxiety story

I knew that it was important to do this blog post especially as its mental health awareness week and today Im going to be talking about my own personal experience of suffering with anxiety. I've suffered with anxiety for quit a few years now its hard to say when it all started really but a few years ago it was the worst it had ever been i was feeling anxious most days after dropping out of college due to my anxiety and not being able to cope i was really struggling to feel positive i felt anxious when i went out to the shops or caught a bus i just felt like there was this big black cloud floating above my head following me around everywhere and it really was horrible because i didn't know why i was feeling so anxious all the time i would stay in the house and not go out much in the week and try and avoid anything that made me anxious and looking back now i know that doing that and avoiding those things wasn't the answer and really it only increased my anxiety because i would be more anxious than when i had to face those things and leave the house and i knew that something needed to be done i remember one night sitting with
 my Mom and having a anxiety attack and i said to her will i feel like this forever will i ever feel ok again and able to cope and she said yes you will this is something that your struggling with right now but you wont feel like this forever it will pass and at the time i wasn't sure if i believed her or not how could i not feel like this forever when i felt this bad now

 but looking back she was right because it did get better i finally decided that i needed help and that i should try counselling anything was better than feeling like this i thought and maybe being able to talk to a stranger about how i was feeling would help me and actually it did help i had counselling over 2 years and ended up seeing 3 different counsellors but i slowly found that i was able to do the things i avoided for so long again like catching the bus without feeling that sense of dread and going out the house more in the week it was the simple things that felt impossible for me to do before i could suddenly do them and actually enjoy going out the house and i even started volunteering and socialising with other people something years ago i would never of dreamed of being able to do and i felt so proud of myself of how far ide come in those few years and counselling played a big part in that and really helped me be able to do those things and not feel that horrible anxiety when doing them. My Mom also played a big role in my recovery she would cheer me on and tell me one step at a time theres no rush one day at a time and she was right i really couldn't of got through any of it without her she was my rock throughout it all the nights i would sit with her crying thinking that i would feel like this forever she was there for me and i cant thank her enough for that she really was amazing and i love her so much for it so if your struggling right now just remember it gets better and it gets easier if your struggling ask for help your never alone and as my Mom once told me take it one day at a time.

Why my Mom and nan are both my hero's

My mom and nan will forever be my hero's there the strongest women I have ever met and even though my nan is no longer with me she will forever have that special place in my heart. My mom has raised me and my brother as a single parent since we were young and she's been there for me ever since she is kind,caring,loving everything a mom should be and more she has the biggest heart and is such a strong lady she has been there for me at my happiest times but also my sadest and I really don't know what I'd do without her.

She also accepts my flaws and all and I have never felt like I've had to be anything but myself around her even though I can be crazy at times ha ha!!. It's hard to really put into words how much she means to me but I think she already knows that I hope if I'm lucky enough to have children one day that I can live up to her and be as good of a mom because she really is the best mom ever and I feel like the luckiest daughter in the world to have her as my mom.


My nan I knew before I started this post that I wouldn't be right to not include my nan because she has always felt like a second mom to me whilst I was growing up like my mom she was such a kind,caring and loving person and would stand up for herself and make herself heard. I loved that about my nan she wasn't going to blend into the background and be unheard by others she knew her own mind and had her own voice and she wasn't afraid to use it.  That's another quality that I loved about her because I could look up to her and see that it was ok as a women to be heard and I felt like the luckiest granddaughter to get to call her my nan because she was such a special lady and would do anything for the people that she loved and she will forever be my hero a women with a heart of gold. I hope you enjoyed my first blog post all that's left to say is see you next time bye 😃

My first blog post

Wow!!

 I'm actually writing my first blog post on my new blog I've wanted to start a blog for a while now and have always been abit anxious about starting one but here I am taking the plunge and I'm excited to see what happens.Now that that's all out the way I should probably introduced myself hi I'm Molly a 20 year old girl who is a crazy cat lady a pj lover and a big lover of crisps ha sounds funny evening typing it but that's just abit about me I hope there's more you will learn about who I am as a person throughout my blog posts and I hope to keep them as real as possible after all my blog is called molly's life and I will be talking about all kinds of different things including lifestyle a day in the life posts and not forgetting my crazy love of cats. I will be putting up my blog posts every Friday and I really hope you the reader enjoy my random thoughts and having a glimpse into my life and with that I've come to the end of my first post all that's left to say is until the next time bye .😃